104ab: The Sum of All Numbers
by Lord Timothy
Summary: ***FINAL SCENE UP! FINALLY! R&R*** Dib must solve riddles to stop a mad bomber. Based on Sum of All Fears.
1. Scene 1

The Sum of All Numbers  
  
Opening Credits Roll  
  
The episode opens with Dib sitting in a chair in a kind of waiting room type place. A door next to the chair Dib is in has the Order of the Swollen Eye Insignia on it. An intercom goes on  
  
Intercom: In a mysterious voice Come in Agent Mothman.  
  
Dib gets up, looks slightly nervous, then goes through the door. The room is completely white, with a black shiny desk, and one of those nifty bubble swivel chairs where you can't actually SEE any of the person in it. The chair is facing a large screen  
  
Mysterious Voice: Please, present your findings.  
  
Dib inserts a tiny disc he had in his pocket into the machine. A large diagram of Zim appears on the screen. Dib looks hopefully at the swivel chair  
  
Mysterious Voice: This is excellent Agent Mothman! We can use this to prove the existence of aliens! Just let me have the boys down in Presentation Prep. Get the corners smoothed out, and then we'll march on Washington! Now, Dib, concerning your reward . . .  
  
A large important-looking rope lowers from the ceiling. The mysterious figure gives the cord a tug. A cactus rises through a trapdoor that magically opens right next to Dib  
  
Dib: A cactus?!?!  
  
Mysterious Voice: Not just any cactus. This is a PUNCHING cactus! It is the only remaining specimen of its type. And we would like you to have it Agent Mothman.  
  
Dib: Why thank y-OW!!! Cactus punches him It punched me!  
  
Mysterious Voice: But of course! What kind of punching cactus would it be if it didn't punch?  
  
Dib: In between being punched But - isn't - it a - little - dangerous?  
  
Mysterious Voice: Sharp change in tone Come on Dib . . . I'm getting tired of punching you . . .  
  
Dib: HUH?  
  
Mysterious Voice: Slowly sounding more annoyed COME ON DIB! As much as I'd like to stand here punching you, I DO have stuff to do . . .  
  
Dib: Still being punched WHAT'S GOING ON???  
  
Mysterious Voice: That's it! I didn't think I'd have to resort to this . . .  
  
Cactus falls over on Dib. He yells out in pain  
  
Mysterious Voice: Whiner . . .  
  
Dib wakes up from his bizarre and disturbing dream to find Gaz sitting on him punching him continuously. He's wearing teddy bear pajamas. ^^  
  
Gaz: Finally . . .  
  
She hops off his bed and walks out. Dib sits up  
  
Dib: All a dream? Darn it! I have to figure out a way to pin Zim! He's been here months and I still haven't figured out how to prove he's an alien! I have to act! Brainstorming I've got it! I'll hack into his computer from my laptop and see if I can get proof from HIS database! Dib, you ARE a genius! Grabs his laptop and starts typing furiously What? I got an e- mail? Who would send me a message this early in the morning?  
  
Screen shows the message. It reads "Hello Dib. It would prove most amusing if you tried to stop this insidious plot of destruction, so I'll let you try and solve it. I have placed 5 Super-Explody Death Charges in strategic points around the city. In this little game I've devised, I will give you the first riddle, which will then lead to other riddles. Solve them all, you save the city. Fail, and there will be a giant crater as proof of my incredible power! Then it will be just a matter of time before I conquer this crummy little planet! But that will be all in due time. Here is your little puzzle.  
  
I am thinking of a number, with a one, three, and five It will spread my message to the world, before you can spell live!  
  
Dib: Leaping up in a heroic pose I must stop him! I must save the city! I must . . . Glancing down at himself change out of my teddy bear pajamas . . .  
  
Shortly after Dib is standing on a porch with a printout of the first clue  
  
Dib: Scanning down the riddle Hmm . . . A-HA! This is simple! I'm looking for a street or building number 135! Pulling out laptop I should be able to locate the right street or building via the net . . . BINGO! Building 135 at the corner of 135 Street and 135 Avenue! That's pretty . . . dumb. Oh well. At least I'm saving the city from obliteration! Onward!  
  
Fade in on Dib at the corner of a busy intersection with street signs reading 135 St. and 135 Ave. Before him is a giant building with 135 on it in large friendly letters. He looks around. All that's there is a newspaper- vending device that looks very sophisticated and reads 'Weekly World DOOM!' Plus there's a large group of people walking around and a bum with a dog puppet pretending to talk into a microphone with his other hand saying, "Oh yeah yeah yeah . . . PRAISE THE LORD."  
  
Dib: I suppose the bomb's probably in the building somewhere . . . Looks over the building But that thing must have a hundred floors . . .  
  
Strange and Mysterious Voice: Coming from behind Dib 135 floors to be exact. And not a bomb on any one of them.  
  
Dib: Whirling around Who are you?  
  
Standing before him now is a guy that looks a lot like the host from "Mysterious Mysteries," only with grayish white hair instead of a beard, and a really wrinkly face. Also, you can actually SEE through his glasses. His eyes are very gaunt. He's wearing a black trench coat and a hat that reads, "I'm important. Ignore me or suffer the consequences." He looks remarkably like Morgan Freeman  
  
Mysterious Morgan Freeman Look-Alike: I'm Toby Williamson. I work for the CIA. I take it you are Dib?  
  
Dib: How do you know who I am?  
  
Toby: I know everything boy. It's my job to know everything. And I watch your father's show. He says you're quite insane.  
  
Dib: That's just like dad. Oh shoot! He'll be wondering where I am!  
  
Toby: Here. Borrow my Top-Secret Government Issue Video Registering Cell Phone. Hands him a high tech looking version of one of those little picture slide readers that you hold up to your face, stick a circular cardboard disc with slides along the edge, and pull a lever to switch. A digital voice emits from it  
  
Cell Phone: Name of target please.  
  
Dib: Umm . . . Professor Membrane.  
  
Cell Phone: Connecting to digital assassination network. Please wait. Elevator music starts playing  
  
Toby: BLAST! Grabs phone Input code 12539. Cancel Assassination. Contact Professor Membrane.  
  
Cell Phone: Assassination Cancelled. Contacting Professor Membrane. Please wait. Elevator music starts again. Toby hands Dib the device, which he attaches to his face. View switches to Dib's view. "Please wait" is displayed on the screen with a dancing ferret. Professor Membrane appears on the screen  
  
Membrane: Son! Where are you?  
  
Dib: Umm . . . I can't tell you . . .  
  
Toby: You know what Dib, tell him everything.  
  
Dib: I'm working with CIA Agent Toby Williamson to defuse 5 bombs strategically placed in the vicinity of the city that were put there by Zim, an evil alien bent on conquering Earth.  
  
Membrane: My poor insane son. Well, dinner's at 6. I'm making waffles.  
  
Transmission ends  
  
Dib: Hello? Hello? Takes off visor-phone thingy He hung up on me! Noticing Toby chuckling That's not funny!  
  
Toby: Calming down No, no it's not. It's HILARIOUS! Bursts into laughter  
  
Dib: Gasping I completely forgot about the bomb!  
  
Toby: What bomb?  
  
Dib: The bomb we came here to defuse!  
  
Toby: Ohh. That's right.  
  
Dib: Where can it be if it's not in the building?  
  
Toby: Well that's obvious.  
  
Dib: It is?  
  
Toby: Yes. Long Pause  
  
Dib: WELL???  
  
Toby: Well what?  
  
Dib: WELL WHERE'S THE BOMB?  
  
Toby: It's in the newspaper-vending device.  
  
Dib: Huh???  
  
Toby: Oh come on Dib. Read the last line of the riddle. 'Spread my message to the world?' It can't get much clearer than that.  
  
Dib: Well, that solves that. But where IN the newspaper-vending device?  
  
Toby: That shouldn't be hard to figure out! Pulling out a pistol  
  
Dib: leaping at Toby You idiot! You might hit the bomb!  
  
Dib lunges at him in slow motion. Toby lifts the gun to fire, but Dib hits him, knocking his aim slightly. Toby hits the corner of the machine, causing the entire front to fall off and land on the spooky Chihuahua from other episodes  
  
Toby: Lowering gun See? That wasn't so hard.  
  
A large orb is sitting in the machine with a digital clock counting down from 10 seconds  
  
Dib: Why is it going down? Realization hits Everybody hit the dirt!!!  
  
Explosion  
  
End Scene 1 


	2. Scene 2

The Sum of All Numbers Scene 2  
  
Dib looks up from cowering, wondering why the explosion was so small  
  
Dib: Huh?!  
  
There is no rubble, screaming masses of injured people, etc.  
  
Toby: Now wearing a hat reading 'Where's the beef?!' It's okay Dib. I contained the explosion with my Government-Issue Super Anti-Explosive and Rubber Pig Net. Mine's yellow! Reeling in a strange-looking yellow net into a funny-looking gun  
  
Dib: Standing up and dusting himself off Well THAT'S nifty.  
  
Toby: Thank you.  
  
Small irritating chirping noise like a cell phone with a special ring  
  
Dib: Realizing suddenly That's coming from my laptop! Pulling out laptop and opening it I got another riddle . . . it says:  
  
Clever you are, to solve my riddle. But the next bomb is in a metal fiddle. And it's got 'G' in the middle.  
  
Dib (Continued): Great. Zim is getting smarter. Or maybe it isn't Zim's doing after all. This IS incredibly more sophisticated than Zim's usual plans . . . that's got to be it! It must be some evil mastermind challenging me to get a feel for the extent of my abilities! Well, he won't best me!  
  
Toby: Looking at Dib questioningly Who's Zim?  
  
Dib: An evil alien bent on conquering this world for his race.  
  
Toby: You mean Specimen G-23?  
  
Dib: Looking surprised The government knows about Zim?!  
  
Toby: No, I'm just trying to sound smart. Personally, I think your crazy as a bucket of lobsters. Well anyway, let's go!  
  
Dib: Lobsters? Go where?  
  
Toby: Why, to the great statue of Crazy Fiddle-Guru Roger!  
  
Dib: Umm . . . okay . . .  
  
Fade out and back in on an aluminum fiddle in an aluminum hand held to the sky. The view changes to display a crazed lunatic being held down by doctors, all portrayed in an interesting statue. Dib and Toby stand before a plaque that reads  
  
Dedicated to Crazy Fiddle-Guru Roger 1923-1945 His fiddle lessened the weight of sanity on us all.  
  
Toby's hat now reads, "What should we do now? RIVERDANCE!" Toby: See, it's a metal fiddle, and Roger has a G in the middle. That was much more difficult than the last riddle. No matter. With your incredibly over-sized head, and my superior taste in stylish hats, we will beat this Jim! Striking a heroic pose  
  
Dib: That's Zim.  
  
Toby: I knew that. Back to the bomb! They turn to look at the fiddle and Toby takes out a plastic fish-looking instrument with lots of buttons If I use my Globally Networked Plastic Fish Transmitting Beacon, I can . . . AHA! Pushes a button. The hand clamped to the fiddle suddenly disconnects from the arm, propelled by a gargantuan flame emanating from the wrist. The hand and fiddle fly off until they are nothing but a speck in the distance  
  
Dib: What was THAT?  
  
Toby: You mean my Government-Issue Globally Networked Plastic Fishotronic Transmitting Beacon?  
  
Dib: The fish-thing.  
  
Toby: Well . . . it's kind of hard to explain . . .  
  
Fades out. Fades back in saying, "1 hour later"  
  
Toby: And that was how Riverdance became a major part of Irish history.  
  
Dib: But I asked you about the fish-thing.  
  
Toby: Oh. Well it's a gadget that does stuff.  
  
Short pause  
  
Toby: Let's go find the next bomb!  
  
End Scene 2 


	3. Scene 3 Cafes and DOOM

104ab: The Sum of All Numbers -Scene 3- ----------------------- Cafes and DOOM  
  
Dib and Toby sit in a diner eating sundaes. Toby's hat says "Franklin WASN'T Polish." They are looking over the latest riddle from Zim. It reads:  
  
Happiness is doom, Love is war. Pain is good, Now count to four.  
  
Dib is looking confused. Counting his fingers over and over, trying to make some connection. Toby finishes his ice cream, pulls out a five, than gets up and walks off. Dib closes his laptop, and dashes off. He comes back for a moment, shovels down the last of his sundae, then dashes off again  
  
Shot changes to them walking down the street  
  
Toby: You shouldn't eat ice cream that fast. You can't be sure that a brainfreeze of any magnitude won't cause your enormous head to implode!  
  
Dib: MY HEAD IS NOT BIG! So did you figure out the riddle, or were you just testing some theory of head-implodey?  
  
Toby: Both. Look at the riddle again. Pulls out electronic personal organizer-looking device It says "Happiness is doom," right? That would be the slogan of the Brotherhood of Doom, that small bunch down on West East Street. "Love is war" is the name of the small café down on East East Street. "Pain is good" is the name of the new action movie, showing in the movie theater in East Street Promenade 4. The theater has 4 screens. Meaning, the bomb is in the theater. Now let's roll! Pushes button on personal organizer  
  
A trashy-looking Jeep drives up next to Toby  
  
Toby: Get in kid. Who knows how much time we have until this bomb goes off?  
  
They get in the car, talking as they go  
  
Dib: You drive a Jeep??  
  
Toby: Yes and no. It's a government-issued car. It's designed to look like a piece of scrap metal to prevent theft, suspicion, and jealousy. It's complete with a DVD player, Pushes a little blue button and a screen comes out of the glove compartment laptop in glove compartment, Pushes yellow button, DVD player pulls in and laptop drops in its place portable Internet uplink, Pushes little green button, awful phone line connecting noises echo through the car dual cup holders for ALL of your cup holding needs, Pushes orange button small tray for snacks, and smiley-face air bags. It's called the Trash Master. It's even got a seat vibrator. Pushes little red button on clutch. Seats start vibrating See?  
  
Dib: Is there anything you DON'T get from the government?  
  
Toby: A good child dental plan. We're here!  
  
They hop out of the Jeep. Before them is a giant sign reading "East Street Promenade 4." They walk through, into a crowded shopping center mobbed with people shopping, and chatting on cell phones. Dib and Toby walk through the crowds to the theatre, up to the ticket booth type-place. The guy behind the plastic screen is Simon, from Career Day (Fast Food Worker)  
  
Dib: Excuse me; what do you have playing on your fourth screen?  
  
Simon: That would be "Pain Is Good," the hottest new action thriller featuring Fredrick Buffman as an ordinary hot dog vender, when meat demons eat his family, and he seeks revenge upon them. The movie is rated "R" for meat-related gore and violence, language, and brief meat nudity. The last show started 10 minutes ago, but for a later showing, please visit our website, at movieplace.net or check your local listings for times. You can also call our toll-free number at-  
  
Toby throws a small orb through the money-exchanging slot, and it lands inside the ticket dome. The orb explodes in a massively-increasing cloud of thick blue smoke. It fills the entire ticket dome  
  
Toby: Grabbing Dib's arm and pushing him through the doors of the promenade Hurry Dib! Go and find the bomb. I am needed elsewhere. Clark Johnson here is our bomb specialist. He'll be going with you to disarm the bomb.  
  
A new character appears. He has really short black hair, and is wearing a black wetsuit  
  
Dib: But . . .  
  
Toby: Go Dib. Be my eyes and ears. Stop this evil Tim! GO! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A/N: This is a kind of short chapter . . . mostly 'cause I'm having trouble pulling it all together just right. I promise I'll get it done soon, but I needed to see the movie again for some fresh ideas. 


	4. Scene 4

Sum of All Numbers Scene 4  
  
Clark, Popcorn, and Ultimate  
  
  
  
Clark Johnson and Dib are making their way through the theater. They stop in front of the double-doors of the 4th room. Clark turns to Dib and pushes him behind a trash can  
  
Clark: Dib, I want you to stay out here and watch for guards. I'm going in to diffuse the bomb.  
  
Dib: How will you know where it is?  
  
Clark: Pulls something out of fanny pack. Holds it up. Looks like a stopwatch with a radar instead of a clock With my Government-Issued Explosive and Teddy Bear Residue/Radiation Detection Device!  
  
Dib: Okay. I guess that KIND OF makes sense. Clark starts heading for the doors to the room By the way, Clark, why are you wearing a wetsuit?  
  
Clark: My other suits are at the dry cleaners.  
  
Dib: So why not wear NORMAL clothes?  
  
Clark: Government requires you wear a suit of some kind. Enough questions! Our time is short!  
  
Clark slides through the doorway. He puts on a pair of night-vision goggles. The theater is empty, but the movie's still showing. View changes to him lurking and looking at the radar. The radar is beeping steadily, like a heartbeat. As he walks down the aisle carefully, his boots crush some popcorn. He looks down at the floor, covered in nasty sticky combinations of gum, spilled soda, and popcorn, and then continues on. The beeping starts getting faster. He comes to a seat; the beeping becomes one long stream. Clark looks under it and sees an explosive device attached to the underside. Using a screwdriver, he removes the exterior shell, revealing countless colored wires and a quiet humming noise. He pulls out a small pair of wire cutters, and sorts through the wires. He brings the cutters in, pushes them past the net of wires, and pushes a smiley-face button with them. The bomb whirs for a second, and then is silent. Standing back up, he turns just in time to see two ushers standing with Glowy-Rods waving them at him. They are both pimpley, and talk in voices continually cracking  
  
Usher 1: You're not supposed to be in here!  
  
Usher 2: This room is closed!  
  
Clark: Somehow not understanding them **Under his breath** Can't speak usherian.  
  
Usher 1: Waving his Glowy-Rod menacingly Are you listening to us scuba- man?  
  
Clark: Puts hands behind his head, still gripping the cutters Guess I'll have to try and take them both at once.  
  
Dib comes up behind them  
  
Dib: Clark! Did you disarm the bomb?  
  
The ushers look at Dib, who is also holding a Glowy-Rod  
  
Clark: Yeah. Can you speak usherian?  
  
Dib: What?  
  
Clark: Can you speak the language of the usher?  
  
Dib: Of course I can! So can you!  
  
Clark: Dib, I never took Usherian Linguistics!  
  
Dib: WHA... Deciding not to waste his breath Forget it. Turning to the ushers My friend and I were just on our way out if you don't mind.  
  
Usher 2: We'll have to report you to the Theater Manager!  
  
Dib waves his Glowy-Rod at them  
  
Dib: Come ON Clark!  
  
Clark circles around the ushers carefully, stopping at Dib's side  
  
Clark: Get their shoes.  
  
Dib: What?  
  
Clark: Get their shoes! They'll be unable to follow us barefooted over the nasty, sticky floor.  
  
Several seconds later Dib and Clark exit the screen room, holding two pairs of sneakers. They toss them by the door  
  
Dib: What now, Clark?  
  
Clark: Isn't it obvious? We must await the next riddle.  
  
They walk out of the theater and sit down on a bench outside. Clark pulls a juice box out of his fanny pack and starts sucking on it  
  
Dib: Hey, where'd Toby go anyway?  
  
Scene changes to Toby standing cheering in what appears to be a football stadium. However, down on the field a heated Ultimate Frisbee tournament is in progress. Mr. President Man is in the audience with Secret Service guys all around, holding one finger in their ear and talking to their coat collar. View changes to the Frisbee, flying through the air. On the underside, a small blinking red light can be seen. Serious badness music plays 


	5. FINAL SCENE Summing Things Up

Sum of All Numbers FINAL SCENE!!! A/N: THE BIGGEST SCENE KNOWN TO MAN! Summing Things Up  
  
  
  
Scene opens to display Dib and Clark playing what looks like Dance Dance Revolution. But the screen displays a fight scene. They are thoroughly absorbed  
  
Clark: Stomping hard on the directional arrows TAKE THIS LARGE-HEADED BOY! His character kicks Dib's across the screen  
  
Dib: Character recovers. He stomps an intricate combination EAT THE ULTIMATE ATTACK! FLAMING DOOM PUNCH OF ANIMATED PAIN AND ALL THAT IS BAD! Character does whooshy-charge and does super punch. Clark's character blocks with crossed arms  
  
Clark: Everyone knows the FLAMING DOOM PUNCH OF ANIMATED PAIN AND ALL THAT IS BAD attack can be stopped by a full-charged defensive barrier! NOW! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE UNSTOPPABLE ATTACK OF DOOM! Clark's character leaps and headbutts Dib's character. Dib's character explodes. The screen flashes "Napoleon Wins!" Clark takes an interesting pose THAT'S THE POWER OF THE KEYBLADE!  
  
Dib: Huh?  
  
Clark: Never mind. What were we doing again?  
  
Dib: Sucks on juicebox for a while OH YEAH! We were waiting for the last riddle.  
  
Clark: Ah yes!  
  
There's a pause while Dib sucks on juicebox  
  
Clark: Well?  
  
Dib: Well what?  
  
Clark: DID YOU GET THE RIDDLE?  
  
Dib: Oh. That. Maybe.  
  
Clark: Why don't you check?!  
  
Dib: FINE! Don't have to be so pushy...  
  
Dib busts out laptop and types up a fury. View switches to over his shoulder. The screen displays the following message:  
  
2 More Bombs Left To Find Before You Thwart My AMAZING MIND Doom May Fly Upon A Disc Your Leaders Are Put To Risk Save Them Hero, Save Them Now Or Before Me All of You Shall Bow!  
  
Dib looks unmistakably puzzled  
  
Dib: This is a LOT more difficult than the others.  
  
Clark: Scanning the lines Not really. As you can see, the two middle lines are the only ones with any meaning.  
  
Dib: Of course! All these other lines are just prattle. The clues are in those two lines. But where would we find a disc?  
  
Clark: Still a rookie. Who is our leader?  
  
Dib: Mr. President Man.  
  
Clark: What is Mr. President Man's hobby?  
  
Dib: Watching Ultimate.  
  
Clark: What is Ultimate played using?  
  
Dib: A Frisbee. What's your point?  
  
Clark: Disc and Frisbee are one in the same...  
  
Dib: Finally catching on The bomb's on the FRISBEE!  
  
Clark: OF COURSE!  
  
Dib: We have to warn Mr. President Man!  
  
Clark: How are we supposed to do that?  
  
Dib: I know! I'll call Toby! He'll know what to do!  
  
Clark: You can't reach him. It's one of those days.  
  
Dib: One of those days?  
  
Clark: He's at a Frisbee game every month.  
  
Dib: Wait a minute...  
  
Pause as Dib stands there motionless, processing the input. He figures it out  
  
Dib: HE MUST BE AT THE SAME GAME!  
  
Clark: Psh. I could have told you that.  
  
Dib: Then WHY DIDN'T YOU?  
  
Clark: You didn't say the magic word.  
  
Dib: Please?  
  
Clark: No, Squeeky moose. We've got to contact Toby. Pulls out a cell phone and hands it to Dib, hitting an autodial  
  
Dib: Talking into the phone Toby?  
  
View switches to split-screen phone conversation. Toby pulls out cell phone in the stands of a huge audience  
  
Toby: What is it?  
  
Dib: TOBY! IT'S DIB!  
  
The crowd is deadly silent. Toby starts yelling into the phone  
  
Toby: WHO IS IT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU'RE BREAKING UP!  
  
Person sitting next to Toby taps him on the shoulder  
  
Toby: Turning to person WHAT IS IT?  
  
Person: Uh... sir... your phone isn't on.  
  
Toby: Looking at the phone Oh. Turns it on HELLO?  
  
Dib: TOBY! THERE'S A BOMB IN THE STADIUM!  
  
Toby: Your mom's in the WHAT?  
  
Dib: A BOMB IN THE ULTIMATE STADIUM!  
  
Toby: A llama and turbulent uranium?  
  
Dib: CUT IT OUT!  
  
Toby: You mean there's a BOMB IN THE STADIUM?  
  
Screen switches to fully on Toby. He stands up. His view shoots to different groups of people. A family with a mother holding a baby, a meat vender slapping himself with meat, the scary Chihuahua, and a goat tethered to a giant shoe.  
  
Toby: Suddenly looks fearful and shouts to the bodyguards CODE 19238539! GET THE PRESIDENT MAN OUT!  
  
The bodyguard closest to the President Man grabs him, tucks him under his arm, and dashes off, followed by more bodyguards and Toby. They dash out of the stadium to the limo and a bunch of squad cars. The bodyguard throws the president into the limo, which drives off, followed by the squad car. The roof of the limo opens and a helicopter flies out with a pilot and Mr. President Man in it. The helicopter flies off over a lake, as the limo and squad cars fly into the lake. The helicopter flies over the water a distance, then the President is dropped out on a parachute, lands on a submarine, and is taken into it by bodyguards on the submarine just before it submerges. The helicopter explodes in midair.  
  
View goes back to Toby, in another limo. Goes into slow motion. The limo is driving. The Ultimate game is continuing, as a player grabs the Frisbee and throws it super hard. The only sound that can be heard is the ominous beeping of the bomb, slowing accelerating. The Frisbee flies through the air, coming past the goal, and into the stands. The light on the bottom is blinking very quickly. The Frisbee flies in slow motion, hitting the tethered goat in the head. The beeping stops. View switches to aerial looking at the stadium. In the stands at one end, an explosion goes off, growing and engulfing everything. The view goes to the limo that Toby's in, getting hit by the shockwave, rolling over and over and over and over and over and over and over an- (GASP!) -nd over and over again. The thing is thoroughly demolished. Fade out.  
  
View changes to a hospital. It flies spirally through the ventilation system and centers on Toby lying in bed, hooked up to machinery. Dib rushes in  
  
Dib: Toby!  
  
Toby: Rasping Come closer Dib...  
  
Dib: Umm... okay...  
  
Dib steps closer  
  
Toby: Still rasping Closer...  
  
Dib steps closer  
  
Toby: CLOSER!!!  
  
Dib steps as close as he can go  
  
Toby: You know what you must do?  
  
Dib: Umm... I think.  
  
Toby: Recoiling slightly Take this. Hands him an orange pill  
  
Dib: Examining the pill What is it?  
  
Toby: A Tic-Tac. If you're going to stand THAT close, I have to be able to stand your breath.  
  
Dib: Eating the Tic-Tac You're the one who told me to get this close!  
  
Toby: Silence! Now Dib, you must seek out the last bomb before Fred-  
  
Dib: HIS NAME'S ZIM!  
  
Toby: Oh yes. Of course. You must seek out the final bomb before Zim can set it off.  
  
Dib: How will I defuse it?  
  
Toby: Take Clark with you. The man may lack a liver, but he's got talent.  
  
Dib: Wait, he hasn't got a liver? What does that have to do with anything?!  
  
Toby: Hurry Dib. Time is run- running- o...u...t...  
  
The constant beep of Toby's heartbeat being monitored becomes one fluid noise  
  
Dib: Toby? Toby?! TOBY!!!  
  
Clark walks up beside him and puts a hand on his shoulder  
  
Clark: There there Dib. The man may not have had a spleen, but he was a great person.  
  
Dib: Spleen? Huh?  
  
Clark: Now time for chitchat, we have a bomb to defuse! Bust out that mechanical menace of yours and intercept the devious enemy's information AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!  
  
Dib: Huh?  
  
Clark: Let's look at the next riddle.  
  
Dib: Oh.  
  
Dib takes out his laptop and opens the newly-arrived message from "Zim." The following message is displayed on the screen:  
  
You're doomed. ^__^  
  
Dib starts snickering lightly. Now more deeply. Now laughing insanely hard  
  
Dib: THAT'S IT? THAT'S NOT A CLUE! THAT'S A TAUNT! YOU'RE TAUNTING ME ZIM! I WON'T STAND FOR IT! I'LL FIND THAT BOMB! Typing wildly I've hacked into your system once, I'll do it again! Cracking Irken technology... DONE! Accessing Recently opened documents... Folder "Master Plan of Unspeakable DOOM"... Subfolder "Phase 5"... that's funny, there's a riddle HERE... but he's also got directions to the location! The docks, huh? Standing up and taking a heroic pose YOU SHALL NOT BE VICTORIOUS THIS TIME ZIM!  
  
Clark is sitting in a chair next to Toby. Toby has bed in sitting-up position  
  
Toby: I told you he's crazy as a bucket of lobsters.  
  
Clark: And he's talking to himself. That's not a good sign. But I think you're wrong about the lobsters.  
  
Toby: Why?  
  
Clark: I think the lobsters are a bit more sane.  
  
Dib: Come on Clark, we have a bomb to diffuse.  
  
Scene changes to the docks. It is nighttime. There is a HUGE oil tanker there, along with numerous warehouses. There's also a pirate ship with a bunch of dancing pirates on it. Of course, there are stacks of crates and a forklift. The trashed car zooms up and stops right at the edge of the water. They jump out and look around  
  
Dib: Hmm... I wonder where he's hiding...  
  
Gaz holding a bag, materializes out of the shadows in front of Dib, scaring the heck out of him  
  
Gaz: Where WHO'S hiding?  
  
Dib: Gaz! What are you doing here?  
  
Gaz: Pointing at the pirate ship Some friends are having a party.  
  
Dib: Wait, you're friends with some pirates?  
  
Gaz: Duh.  
  
Dib: But wh- Giving up Never mind. Have you seen anything suspicious around here, like... perhaps a bomb?  
  
Gaz: Why do you ask?  
  
Dib: Well, if the bomb EXPLODES, then Zim will accomplish his goal. And that's BAD.  
  
Gaz: I get it. You and Zim are playing a game, huh?  
  
Dib: It's not a GAME Gaz. This is more important.  
  
Gaz: Well the secret to finding the bomb is following the white rabbit.  
  
Dib: White rabbit?  
  
Gaz: That's all I know. Gotta go Dib. Shakes a bag The pirates want their tacos.  
  
Gaz walks past and off towards the pirate ship. Dib stands puzzling. Clark looks clueless  
  
Clark: Who was the spooky little girl?  
  
Dib: That was my sister.  
  
Clark: Spooky. But not crazy. Just spooky.  
  
Dib: What are you talking about?  
  
Clark: Nothing. What clue did she give you?  
  
Dib: She said follow the white rabbit.  
  
Clark: Psh. That's easy.  
  
Dib: Huh?!  
  
Clark: There's a rabbit sticker on the back of the forklift.  
  
Dib: There is?  
  
Clark: Walking over and pointing at a white sticker that says "Look at me! I'M A RABBIT!" Just like she said.  
  
Dib: I don't know... that doesn't sound like what we're looking for.  
  
Suddenly, the forklift starts up and drives, without a driver at the steering wheel. But it seems to know where it's going. They follow it as it goes in between two warehouses on a wild path. They eventually follow it to a warehouse where it stops at the door and explodes  
  
Dib: Panting I guess it's this one.  
  
Clark: Panting How can you tell?  
  
Dib: Pointing at the front of the warehouse That.  
  
There's a gigantic Irken symbol on the front of the warehouse. They glance at it, then proceed into the warehouse itself. It's got chains hanging from the ceiling in a spooky fashion. There's a desk and a computer in the corner. On it is a small metal box. They start making their way towards it. They walk along when Clark gets grabbed from behind, muffled by a hand. Dib doesn't notice. He continues on. He stands before the desk, looking at a box, when a length of chain quickly lowers over his neck. It pulls taut and he grabs at it desperately. View goes back a little, to reveal the enemy. It's GIR  
  
GIR: WOOHOO! I'M RIDING THE BIG-HEADED KID!  
  
Dib: Struggling with the chain Get off me you crazy robot!  
  
GIR: BUT I CAN'T! I GOTTA STOP DIB FROM FINDING THE BOMB!  
  
Dib: Finally yanking the chain from GIR's grasp Ha!  
  
But GIR clings to the back of Dib's head, covering Dib's eyes  
  
GIR: If you can't see it, it can't see YOU!  
  
Dib: Trying to tear GIR off his ENORMOUS head Get OFF!  
  
GIR: SAY THE MAGIC WORD!  
  
Dib: Please?  
  
GIR: NO! TUNA!  
  
Dib grabs GIR's arms and starts ramming him into the wall, using his body force to crush the robot  
  
Dib: Take THIS! AND THIS! AND THAT!  
  
Suddenly he realizes he only has the arms, and the torso, head, and legs blasted through the wall and fled. He drops the arms and goes back to the box, carefully removing the lid to reveal a bomb like the others  
  
Dib: Clark? CLARK!  
  
Clark hobbles out of the darkness, clutching a hand to his side  
  
Dib: Clark! What happened?  
  
Clark: Rasping Something grabbed me. It ran away though. But not before leaving me with this. He gestures towards his side  
  
Dib: He hit you?  
  
Clark: Of course not. Removes his hand to reveal a small token with the Irken emblem on it. He hands it to Dib He dropped that and dashed off.  
  
Dib: So why were you clutching your side?  
  
Clark: WHAT'S TO YOU PUNK? I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU IF I DON'T WANT TO.  
  
Dib: OKAY! Okay. Can you deactivate this bomb now?  
  
Clark walks over. Carefully prying off the outer cover, he reveals the bomb's innards. There's a digital timer, counting down from five minutes  
  
Clark: DIB! THERE'S NO TIME! I CAN'T SHUT THIS DOWN IN FIVE MINUTES! ITS TOO COMPLICATED! I... CAN'T... TAKE... THE... PRESSURE!  
  
Dib: Quickly snatching the box Then I'll have to toss it out to sea! Dashes out of the warehouse  
  
View switches to Gaz on the docks, waving to the departing pirate ship  
  
Gaz: SEE YOU GUYS NEXT MONTH!  
  
Pirates in Unison: YAR! SEE YOU GAZ!  
  
Gaz turns to leave and sees Dib running with the box. GIR is leaping towards Dib as he runs. Goes into slow motion. They are all yelling. Dib is yelling as he runs towards and past Gaz. GIR is yelling as he bites down on the box with his mouth, hanging like a dog. Dib runs to the edge of the dock, grabs GIR's legs, and swings him around in circles, letting go. GIR sails through the air, box in mouth, landing on the deck of the pirate ship. Gaz kicks Dib into the water. Time returns to normal speed. View is from the docks, watching the pirate ship sail away  
  
GIR: HI PIRATES! LET'S MAKE SOME BISCUITS!  
  
The pirate ship explodes, in a shower of wood and pirates. They do not reach the shore though. Dib climbs up a ladder to the docks again. He stands next to Gaz, soaked  
  
Dib: I did it Gaz! I stopped Zim's mad bombing plan!  
  
Gaz: Shaking with fury You... blew... up... my... pirate... friends... NOW YOU SHALL PAY!  
  
The pirates climb up, some seriously wounded, but most miraculously fine. They form a circle around Dib, all angry and soaking wet. They draw pointy weapons  
  
???: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Clark leaps through the pirates, knocking them about with a giant plastic fish. He stands back to back with Dib  
  
Clark: Go Dib! I'll distract them while you make a run for it! He grabs Dib and throws him over the pirates as they close in FREEDOM!!!  
  
View goes to Dib, running as fast as he can. View changes to the Skool, with the words "The next morning." The view goes to Ms. Bitter's class. Everyone is sitting quietly. Ms. Bitters is giving a lecture on sacrificing goats  
  
Ms. Bitters: Now class, it is very important that you cut the belly open BEFORE you chant. The ritual is NOT performed correctly otherwise. Now each of you go to your designated goats and begin. You WILL be graded on this.  
  
Dib kicks open the door. Heroic music plays. Dib is covered in battle scars and thoroughly trashed. But he puts on his heroic face and marches to his seat  
  
Ms. Bitters: Dib! Where have you been for the last day? Why were you absent?  
  
Dib: Leaping on his desk I was SAVING THE WORLD!  
  
Ms Bitters: That is an unexcused absence. You will receive three consecutive life-detentions. Now pair up with Zim and complete the goat sacrificing assignment.  
  
Dib: Striding over to where Zim is holding a knife next to a goat Zim.  
  
Zim: Dib.  
  
Dib: I found all FIVE of your little toys in the city.  
  
Zim: But you only stopped three. The others still went off.  
  
Dib: But minor casualties in both cases! I have defeated your plot. Your plan was stopped!  
  
Zim: My plan? Stopped? Ha. Ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA!!! He bursts into laughter My plan did not fail. It went exactly as I planned.  
  
Dib: But I STOPPED YOUR BOMBS.  
  
Zim: You still do not see. My intention was not to destroy the city. Why would I take the effort to set up those bombs, and then leave you clues to all of them? But they were still effective in delaying you.  
  
Dib: You set up that ENTIRE PLAN just to get me into detention? That's just STUPID.  
  
Zim: If it was so stupid, then WHY DID I SUCCEED? Huh Dib? WHO'S STUPID NOW? Bursts into laughter again  
  
Ms. Bitters slithers over  
  
Ms. Bitters: Zim, laughing during rituals is against Skool Rulez. You shall receive a life detention.  
  
Zim scowls at Dib, who is smirking at him  
  
Zim: You will pay for this Dib. OH SUCH PAYING SHALL YOU DO!  
  
Dib: And I'll be ready for you this time.  
  
Scene switches to a space ship somewhere in space. The view is of a throne- like seat. A large metallic-looking hand holding a rubber duck is all that is visible of the occupant of the seat  
  
???: Hmm... this DIB creature is much more clever than I thought. I intervened in Zim's plot, and he found a way around. Squeezing the duck But this is just the beginning...  
  
END  
  
A/N: Sorry that took so long. I had MASSIVE Writer's Block. I had all the ideas there, but it was getting harder to put them all together. Obviously it swings away from the movie a bit. I did that ON PURPOSE. So don't claim I'm being "untrue to the movie." The chapter is definitely long. (9 pages in MS Word!) I wanted to get it all out there and stop putting it off. I hope you enjoyed it 


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